Wednesday, 8 September 2021

Unique Hospital

The queen of England was visiting one of America's top hospitals, and during her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

'Oh my god!', said the Queen, 'That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???'

The doctor leading the tour explains, 'I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't ejaculate five times a day, his testicles would quite literally explode and he would most likely die instantly.'

'Oh, I am sorry' said the Queen.

The tour continued on the next floor of the hospital. After walking past several rooms, they passed an open door where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

'Oh my God!' said the Queen, 'What's happening in there?'

The Doctor replied, 'Same problem, better health plan.'

I have a pain in my eye

"Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."

"Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

Monday, 30 August 2021

Who should brew the coffee

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...

"HEBREWS."

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Sunday, 15 August 2021

Can i have a dog for Christmas

- Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas? 

- No, you can have turkey like everyone else!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Tuesday, 10 August 2021

Mom, look at my drawing

"Mom! look at my drawing."

"Wow! what a great dinosaur you made!"

"Mom, don't be ridiculous! That's you!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Friday, 6 August 2021

Big People Words

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words."

She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Time passes!!

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks heโ€™s wrong.

Charles Wadsworth

Wednesday, 21 July 2021

Don't be nervous, boy!!

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon.

Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son: 
"Donโ€™t be nervous, boy, just do your best and just remember, if it doesnโ€™t go well, if something happens to meโ€ฆ your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."

Saturday, 10 July 2021

5 ways for man to be happy with women

5 ways for man to be happy with women:

1. Be with a women who makes you laugh๐Ÿ˜†

2. Be with a women who gives you her time๐Ÿ•ง

3. Be with a women who takes care of you๐Ÿ‘ซ

4. Be with a women who really loves you๐Ÿ˜˜

5. Finally, make sure these four women donโ€™t know each other! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Sunday, 27 June 2021

I wake up at 8:30

"Please help me doctor, I have a bowel movement every morning at 7!"

"But that is a very healthy thing, Mr. Richards!"

"It would be, if I didn't usually wake up at 8:30!"

Itemized Bill of Orrhopedic Surgeon

A well known, rich business man's wife broke her hip. 

The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.

The operation went smoothly, and the doctor sent the businessman a bill for $5,000 for his services.

The business man, outraged at the high price, sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. 

The doctor responded to the letter with the following:
 
1 Screw: $1.00 Knowing how to put it in: $4,999
Total: $5,000
The business man never argued.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Saturday, 26 June 2021

Something wrong with Eyes.

โ€œDoctor, I think thereโ€™s something wrong with my eyes.โ€

โ€œI think so too. This is a post office.โ€

Friday, 18 June 2021

Once upon a time!!

Patient: I'm afraid I've caught poetry.

Doctor: Don't worry, I used to suffer from short stories.

Patient: Really?When?

Doctor: Once upon a time.

Intelligent Doctor

My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!

Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.

Funny Marriage Jokes

Some Marriage's Insights:

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success.

Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman.
Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.


After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Thursday, 17 June 2021

You have a cute baby

The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby."

The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."

"No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."

The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?"

The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Tuesday, 15 June 2021

Doctors on a mission

The phone rings in the middle of the night at a doctor's house. He answers it and it's his friend who is also a doctor, he says:

"We need a 4th player for our cards game. Do you want to come over?"

He gets up quickly and starts dressing, when the wife asks:

"Is it something serious?"

"You can bet on it. There are 3 doctors in there already and they need my help."

What is an Idiot?

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?

Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?

Son: No.

What happens when you invite a friend for supper

โ€œHoney,โ€ said this husband to his wife, โ€œI invited a friend home for supper.โ€

โ€œWhat? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havenโ€™t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I donโ€™t feel like cooking a fancy meal!โ€

โ€œI know all that.โ€

โ€œThen why did you invite a friend for supper?โ€

โ€œBecause the poor foolโ€™s thinking about getting married.โ€
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

No More Kids

My wife and I decided that we don't want to have children anymore.

So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

5 things Indian Movies teach us

5 things Indian Movies teach us:

1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.

2. While defusing a bomb, don't worry, whichever wire you cut... you always choose the right one.

3. A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl cleans up his wounds. 

4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.

The most hilarious one..
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Monday, 14 June 2021

5 things American Movies Teach Us

5 things American Movies Teach Us:

1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.

2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.

3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote Basketball/Baseball.

4. Aliens have special interest in attacking the U.S.

5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves & vampires.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Who said that english is easy?

English Questions

Who said that english is easy?

Fill in this blank with YES or NO.

__________, I don't have a brain.

__________, I don't have a sense.

__________, I am stupid.

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Online Shopping

Online Shopping Joke

A man was arrested by the police after he stole his neighbour's clothes on the washing line.

He claimed he was doing online shopping.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

National Lottery Draw

National Lottery Draw Joke

A pastor was praying for a demon-possessed man.

He shouted, "In the name of Jesus, what do you want from this Man?! Speak! Before I cast you out into the lake of fire!

The demon in the man said, "I want him to win the National Lottery Draw worth 200million naira tonight."

 The pastor subtly lowered the microphone and whispered, "Get out of him and enter into me."
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Sunday, 13 June 2021

Story of Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody


This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.

Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done! 

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Friday, 11 June 2021

Class on Ethics

A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business.

"Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize sheโ€™s given you two $100 bills."

Now, hereโ€™s where the ethics come in:

should you or should you not tell your partner?


Got a 'F' in Arithmetic

Little Johnny returns from school and tells his father he got an "F" in Arithmetic today.

"Why?" asks his father.

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said "6".

"But that's right," said his father.

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'

"What's the fucking difference?" asks his father.

"That's what I said!"

why can't coffee shops spell correctly

 When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, โ€œMarc, with a C.โ€

Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

I Should Have

WIFE: I should have married the devil. Even he would make a better husband than you.

HUSBAND: But honey, marriage between relatives is illegal.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Thursday, 10 June 2021

Time to join English Speaking Course

When words are not enough to express your feelings..

Dont think youโ€™re in LOVE.

You just need to join..

ENGLISH SPEAKING COURSE 
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Wicked Ladies

Wicked Ladies Joke

Ladies are wicked.

They will lay on your chest and ask, "Honey have you ever cheated on me?"

And then wait for your heart to beat fast.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Wednesday, 9 June 2021

Stupid Students

Stupid Students

TEACHER: Who is the President of Nigeria?
CHILDREN: (They all chorused) Lamido Sanusi!
TEACHER: Correct!

Who is the Minister of Defence?
CHILDREN: Asari Dokubo!
TEACHER: Good!

What is the capital city of Nigeria?
CHILDREN: Enugu!
TEACHER: Very good!

Who composed the National Anthem?
CHILDREN: D-Banj!
TEACHER: Excellent.

What do you call people from Moscow?
CHILDREN: Mosquitoes!
TEACHER: Perfect!

How much is 2 + 5?
CHILDREN: 25!
TEACHER: That's great! You're going to be stupid like this until your government increases my salary!
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

You're Next

You're Next

I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next."

They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Mandela Treatment

Mandela Treatment

GIRL: Sweetie, I want you to treat me the same way South Africa treated the Late Nelson Mandela.

BOY: Very good Idea, lets start with 27 years in Prison.

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Types of Salaries

Types of Salaries

These are the names of different salaries:

1. Onion Salary โ€“ You grab it, you open it, and you cry.
2. Storm Salary โ€“ You donโ€™t know when itโ€™s coming or going.
3. Menstrual Salary โ€“ It comes once a month and lasts only four days.
4. Magic Salary โ€“ You touch it and it disappears.
5. Amnesia Salary โ€“ You canโ€™t remember what you spent it on.
6. Time Traveling Salary โ€“ You spend it paying various debts even before you collect it.

Which one have you ever experienced?
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Tuesday, 8 June 2021

Getting Married

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

This is husband speaking

A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the emergency operator asked.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Evolution of Human Race

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
 
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

Monday, 7 June 2021

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time

A wife asks her husband, Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?

He replied, They had avocados.

(If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time).
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Buy Yourself Something Nice

My friend, an intern, was given $50 to get the chairman of the bank some lunch.

Told to get himself something,..

 he bought a shirt.

Potato Bag Strength

An exercise for people who are out of shape:

Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand.

Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax.

After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags.

Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Sunday, 6 June 2021

Whatโ€™s the Wiโ€‘Fi password?

Me: Whatโ€™s the Wi-Fi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: OK, Iโ€™ll have a Coke.

Bartender: Three dollars.

Me: There you go.

So whatโ€™s the Wiโ€‘Fi password?

Bartender: โ€œYou need to buy a drink first.โ€ No spaces, all lowercase.

Reason to Buy Painting

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artistโ€™s work.

They finally went with mine.

โ€œI guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,โ€ I said.

โ€œNo,โ€ said the boy. โ€œYour paintingโ€™s wider, so itโ€™ll cover three holes in our wall.โ€

Brother Sister Pulling Hairs

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.

"Donโ€™t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesnโ€™t realize that pulling hair hurts."

A short while later, thereโ€™s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.

This time the sister is bawling and her brother saysโ€ฆ
"Now she knows."
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Saturday, 5 June 2021

Why did you eat the Baby?

A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I'm having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She said, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Who Says Men Don't Remember


A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.

In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do remember that shop."

He replied, "Well, I'm in the bar next door."
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Learning to write


Mother: What did you learn in school today?

Son: How to write.

Mother: That's great! What did you write?

Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

I know your secret

Two boys were talking and one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want."

The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied,

"Tell people you know their secret.", the other boy said.

The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!".

The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10."

The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"

The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."

The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"

The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Lie Detector Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some homework."

The robot slaps the son. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story." 

The robot slaps the son. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn." 

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was."

The robot slaps the father. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." 
The robot slaps the mother. 

Robot for sale.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

He isnโ€™t our frankie

Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife,
"Heโ€™s been crying the whole way home. Isnโ€™t he sick or something?"

"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isnโ€™t our Frankie."
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Boy goes to strip club?

A boy goes to a strip club. He comes home looking upset. His mom gets angry and starts lecturing him.

Mom: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?

boy: Yes, I saw dad! 
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Friday, 4 June 2021

Now we run

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. 

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" 

To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

Mind your own business

A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.

The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." 

 The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". 

 The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?"

"No" says the boy, "he minded his own business."

Are bugs good to eat

"Dad, are bugs good to eat?" asked the boy.

"Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table, son," his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh, nothing," the boy said. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

Half Sisters and Half Brother

Jake: What does your father do for a living?

Matt: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Jake: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Matt: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

First Operation

Patient: Oh doctor, I'm just so nervous. This is my first operation.

Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.



Thursday, 3 June 2021

Grandmaโ€™s hairs are white

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.

She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Dumbest kid in the world

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, โ€œThis is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.โ€

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, โ€œWhich do you want, son?โ€

The boy takes the quarters and leaves. โ€œWhat did I tell you?โ€ said the barber. โ€œThat kid never learns!โ€

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

โ€œHey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?โ€ 

The boy licked his cone and replied, โ€œBecause the day I take the dollar, the game is over!โ€

Mommy ate the Baby

For weeks, a 6-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.

The 6-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment.

Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever became of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate the baby"

Fishing with Daddy

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.

"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." 

"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." 

"But that's just what I did, mommy."

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

What MOM stands for?

Son: Mom can I get twenty bucks?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Son: Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?

The First 3 Years of Marriage

The First 3 Years of Marriage.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.



Small Donation

 Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.



Wednesday, 2 June 2021

Today is a fine day.

Husband to wife: Today is a fine day.

Next day he says: Today is a fine day.

Again next day, he says same thing: Today is a fine day.

Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband: Since one week, you are saying this 'Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter?

Husband: Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I will leave you one fine day.' I was just trying to remind you.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Wife Wanted

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ



Tuesday, 1 June 2021

How do you catch a polar bear?

How do you catch a polar bear?

You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea, you kick it in the ice hole.

Two Ducks !!

Two ducks were sitting in a pond.

One of the ducks said: โ€œQuack.โ€

The other duck said: โ€œI was going to say that!โ€



Monday, 31 May 2021

Donโ€™t Trust Atoms

 Donโ€™t trust Atoms.

They make up everything.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚



Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went to camping!!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: โ€œWatson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.โ€

Watson replied: โ€œI see millions and millions of stars.โ€

Holmes said: โ€œand what do you deduce from that?โ€

Watson replied: โ€œWell, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, itโ€™s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there.  And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.โ€

And Holmes said: โ€œWatson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.โ€

Wake Up Honey!

A married couple had gotten into an argument and for many days had not been talking to each other. 

Instead they were writing notes back and forth.

One evening the husband walked up to the wife and handed her a note that said, โ€œWake me up tomorrow at 6 in the morning.โ€

When he woke up the next morning it was 9.

He immediately got angry with his wife and turned around to speak to her.

On the pillow was a note that said, โ€œWake up Honey, itโ€™s 6!โ€
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Which day of the week do fish hate?

 Which day of the week do fish hate?

....... Fry-Day.


Daddy, What is sex?

 An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, โ€œMom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.โ€

Is he Dead?

Michael Bentine: I just came in and found him lying on the carpet there.

Peter Sellers: Oh, is he dead?

Michael Bentine: I think so.

Peter Sellers: Hadnโ€™t you better make sure?

Michael Bentine: Alright. Just a minute.

Sound of two gun shots.

Michael Bentine: Heโ€™s dead.

Something Unusual with Platoon

 At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on.

He asked the Major: โ€œMajor Barry, what the devilโ€™s wrong with Sergeant Jonesโ€™ platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.โ€

โ€œWell sir,โ€ says Major Barry after a moment of observation.

โ€œThere seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.โ€

Saturday, 29 May 2021

Intelligent Wife

An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much That Her Husband Cant Afford Another Women
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 


Anger Management

Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet seat... 

Husband: How does it help ?

Wife: I use your toothbrush!
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 



Consequences of American life style

Consequences of American life style:

The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Golden Anniversary Fun

A couple were in bed after celebrating their golden anniversary.

The wife Said, "Darling, embrace me the way you used to when we first got Married."

He did.

"Now kiss me the way you used to..."

"Now darling, bite me the way you used to."

At this point the husband got out of bed and started walking towards table.

 wife said, "Where are you going dear?"

"To get my teeth, dear," the husband replied.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

A civilized fight between husband & wife

A civilized fight between husband & wife...

Wife: Twinkle Twinkle little star, you should know what YOU are And once YOU know what YOU are Then the Mental hospital is'nt so far.

Husband: The rain makes all things beautiful The grass & flowers too If rain makes all things beautiful, Why doesn't it rain on YOU?

Wife: Roses are red Violets are blue Monkeys like YOU should be kept in zoo.

Husband: Don't feel so angry YOU will find me there too, Not in cage but laughing at YOU.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Friday, 28 May 2021

Dentistโ€™s Visit

A man and his wife entered a dentistโ€™s office.

The wife said,  "I want a tooth pulled. I donโ€™t want any anaesthetics because Iโ€™m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

"Youโ€™re a brave woman," said the dentist.

"Now, show me which tooth it is."

The wife turned to her husband and said, 

"Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

Cheating Husband



A husband came home from work and his wife slapped him. "What was that about?" he cried.

"I found a piece of paper in your pants last night with the name 'Mary Lou' written on it," she said, steaming. "You'd better have a damned good explanation."

"Calm down, honey," he replied. "Remember last week when I went to the races? Mary Lou was one of the horses I bet on, that's all."

The next day when he came home from work, his wife slapped him again.

"Now what?" he cried.

"This morning, your horse called!"
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

A Perfect Compliment

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

โ€œI feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.โ€

The husband replies, โ€œYour eyesightโ€™s perfect, Darling!!โ€


Wife's Best Book

When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?

She answers: My husband's cheque book.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

My wife missed the bus

A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors.

Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.

When asked he replied miserably...

"My wife missed the bus"
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 


Meaning of Dreams

Dreams

One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband,

"I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day.

What do you think it means?"

"Maybe youโ€™ll find out tonightโ€ฆ," he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it

- to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

How to remember wifeโ€™s birthday

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.


Couple Pulled over by Police

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! 

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

I am Ugly?

PATIENT: Doctor! I'm I ugly?

DOCTOR: You're not ugly.

PATIENT: But everybody says I'm ugly!

DOCTOR: Listen, you are not ugly!

PATIENT: I know I'm ugly.

DOCTOR: You look like a fine, strong looking man.

PATIENT: But I'm a woman.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Chocolate Store Magic


A doctor and an engineer entered a chocolate store. 

As they were busy looking around, the doctor stole 3 chocolate bars.

As they left the store, the doctor said to engineer, "Man! I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that."

The engineer replied, "Okay, you wanna see something better? Let's go back to the store and I'll show you real stealing."

So they both went up to the counter and the engineer said to the shop boy, "Hey, would you like to see some magic?"

The shop boy replied, "Yes!"

The engineer said, "Give me one chocolate bar."

The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it...

He asked for the second, and he ate that one as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shop boy asked, "Okay, what are you trying to pull here? Where's the magic?"

The engineer replied, "Check in my friend's pocket. You'll find all three bars."
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

A Lawyer Tries To Trick A Chinese Doctor Into Giving Him $100

A Chinese doctor can't find a job in a hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads
"GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.

Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."

Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."

Chinese: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all."

Chinese: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."

Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!"

Chinese: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Meaning of Wife

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? 

It means "Without Information, Fighting Everytime!"

WIFE says: No darling , it means "With Idiot For Ever"
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Compassionate Billy!!

 A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they are stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Billy stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you are stupid."

Little Billy:  "No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

General Equations & Statistics

General equations & statistics

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Thursday, 27 May 2021

Expiry Date

A wife to her husband: "Honey, what are you doing?"

"I'm reading our marriage certificate."

"What for?"

"Im looking for the expiry date..."
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Bloddy English Language

Husband texts to wife on cell: Hi, what are you doing Darling?

Wife: Im dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types Sweet Heart, how can I live without You?

Wife: You idiot! Im dying my hair.

Husband: Bloody English Language!

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Prescription to Kill!!

This woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

He asks "What for?"

She says "I want to kill my husband".

He says "Sorry, I can't do that."

She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him.

He says, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription..."

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Wife won the argument

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


Still paying for Marriage

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Good and Bad News

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.

'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.

The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'. 

'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'

The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

Wednesday, 26 May 2021

Elephant and Duck Joke

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks.

Tuesday, 25 May 2021

Two weasels at Bar

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool.

One starts to insult the other one.

He screams, "I slept with your mother!"

The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.

The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"

The other says, "Go home dad youโ€™re drunk."

Joke for science minded people only

 An atom walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he's seen his missing electron.

"Are you sure she's missing", asks the bartender.

"I'm positive", replies the atom. 


The Head

 What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs and no body?

The Head.

Russians used pencil!!

 When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300ยฐC. 

The Russians used a pencil.

Sunday, 23 May 2021

Farts never smell and are always silent.

 A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

"Doctor, I have this problem with farts, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've passed gas at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was passing gas because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says,

"I don't know what medicine you gave me, but now my gas..... although still silent... smells terrible."

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses (Smelling Sense), let's work on your hearing."

Saturday, 22 May 2021

Wedding Service

Mill attended his first wedding service with his brother Daniel.

After the service Daniel asked him: How many women do you think a man can marry?

Mill: Sixteen. Daniel was surprised as to how he answered so fast and confidently, then he asked why he said sixteen.

Mill: So simple! All you just have to do is add everything up, the pastor said โ€œFour better, four worse, four richer, four poor.โ€

What is Desert?

 Mill is back from school, tired and hungry.

Mother: Mill, what were you taught at school today?

Mill: Agriculture.

Mother: Wow! What topic is that?

Mill: Deserts.

Mother: What is a desert?

Mill: A desert is a barren area of land where grasses or plants hardly grow. 

Mother: Good boy, can you give an example?

Mill: Daddyโ€™s head is a good example.

The Bottle Ground

Army Officers were renovating their officersโ€™ mess and wanted to give appropriate names for the dining room, cards room, lounge and bar.

While most of them had routine names, worth mentioning is the bar which was finally christened โ€˜The Bottle Groundโ€™.

Itโ€™s Mine !!

 An army officer serving in an insurgency area was home on leave.

Once while resting, he heard his two children scream, โ€œItโ€™s mine! Itโ€™s mine!โ€

He jumped out of his bed, dashed towards them and shouted, โ€œDonโ€™t step on it! Let me defuse it first!โ€

Atheist Friend

My friend Robin was constantly criticised by his devout Christian family for not going to church.

They were all taken aback when, on hearing about the huge fire at a local church,

Robin folded his hands in prayer, closed his eyes and said,

"Thank you, Lord, for making me an atheist.

Friday, 21 May 2021

HIV Test

 Mike went for HIV test in a hospital on Thursday and he was told to come back on Monday for the result.

When he got to church on Sunday, the pastor then declared to the people that: โ€œEverything you are looking forward to this coming week shall be positive!โ€

Mike jumped to his feet and yelled aloud โ€œI reject it in Jesus name! Mine must be negativeee!!!

Why were deaths happening at 11 AM?


There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11 AM regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural.

No one could solve the mystery..... as to:  Why were deaths happening at 11 AM?

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. 

So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil.

Just when the clock struck 11, Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Difference between Fly & Bird

 Mill: What is the different between a bird and a fly?

Rob: A fly canโ€™t bird but a bird can fly.

The Second One

 Mill was very dull in class and everyone knows that.

One day the teacher asked:

Teacher: Who succeeded the first president of Russia?

Mill: The second one.

 โ€ฆ The teacher faintedโ€ฆ

Policeman and a Boy

 A police man caught a boy red handed with a penknife and a squirrel in his hand, then the following conversation occurred between them: 

Policeman: Whatever you do to that innocent creature is what I shall do to you and I'm serious about what I'm saying.

The boy: I shall give the squirrel a lot of chocolates and biscuit and finally give it all my money and set it free and let it go.

Punished for What I Didnโ€™t Do

 One day a boy came home crying profusely and angrily walked in.

His mother asked what happened and asked him why he was so angry and crying.

The boy replied โ€œI got punished for what I didnโ€™t do!!โ€

Mother: Really, what is it that you didnโ€™t do and was beaten for?

The boy: My homework. 

โ€ฆthe mother faintedโ€ฆ



Make Up

 Mill: why did Rob put lipstick on his head? What's that for?

Rob: So that he could MAKE UP his mind.

Reality Check

 Mill went to a shop to buy a toy. When he got there he selected a nice toy car then later headed to the cashier desk and gave the cashier money-cards from monopoly game as the money to pay for the car. Then the following conversation ensued between them

Cashier: Hey! Are you stupid? This isnโ€™t real money! Itโ€™s a money-card from monopoly.

The boy (Mill): You are stupid sir! The car is not real either.

Cleaning Service

 A man is dying in the hospital and was surrounded by his two sons, his wife and a female nurse.

Then he said to the eldest son โ€œTo you, PAUL, I leave the apartment block in North Leon. To you, ANDREW, being my youngest son with a brighter future, I leave the city centre Offices. And you, my dear wife, I leave the three bedroom residential building at Tabatha Tower.โ€

The nurse was very impressed and she tells the wife: โ€œWOW, your husband is very rich madam. He has so many properties he left behind for you all so as to ease your standard of leaving when he is finally gone. You are all so lucky!โ€

The wife replied โ€œRich or what do you just said? Lucky or what do you added? Our whole family works for a cleaning company. Those are his job schedule services. He shared all his job schedules among us. So watch what you say madam!!!