Got a 'F' in Arithmetic

Little Johnny returns from school and tells his father he got an "F" in Arithmetic today.

"Why?" asks his father.

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said "6".

"But that's right," said his father.

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'

"What's the fucking difference?" asks his father.

"That's what I said!"

Lie Detector Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some homework."

The robot slaps the son. 😂😂

The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story." 

The robot slaps the son. 😂😂

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn." 

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was."

The robot slaps the father. 😂😂

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." 

The robot slaps the mother. 

Robot for sale.

🤣🤣😂😂

Boy goes to strip club?

A boy goes to a strip club. He comes home looking upset. His mom gets angry and starts lecturing him.

Mom: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?

boy: Yes, I saw dad! 

😂😂😂😂

Are bugs good to eat

"Dad, are bugs good to eat?" asked the boy.

"Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table, son," his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh, nothing," the boy said. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

Fishing with Daddy

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.

"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." 

"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." 

"But that's just what I did, mommy."

😂😂😂😂

Daddy, What is sex?

 An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.”

Still paying for Marriage

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 

Two weasels at Bar

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool.

One starts to insult the other one.

He screams, "I slept with your mother!"

The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.

The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"

The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."

What is Desert?

 Mill is back from school, tired and hungry.

Mother: Mill, what were you taught at school today?

Mill: Agriculture.

Mother: Wow! What topic is that?

Mill: Deserts.

Mother: What is a desert?

Mill: A desert is a barren area of land where grasses or plants hardly grow. 

Mother: Good boy, can you give an example?

Mill: Daddy’s head is a good example.