Evolution of Human Race

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

 

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

Reason to Buy Painting

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work.

They finally went with mine.

“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.

“No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in our wall.”

Brother Sister Pulling Hairs

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.

"Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts."

A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.

This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…

"Now she knows."

😂😂😂😂

I know your secret

Two boys were talking and one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want."

The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied,

"Tell people you know their secret.", the other boy said.

The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!".

The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10."

The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"

The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."

The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"

The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"

🤣🤣😂😂😂

Lie Detector Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some homework."

The robot slaps the son. 😂😂

The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story." 

The robot slaps the son. 😂😂

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn." 

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was."

The robot slaps the father. 😂😂

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." 

The robot slaps the mother. 

Robot for sale.

🤣🤣😂😂

Half Sisters and Half Brother

Jake: What does your father do for a living?

Matt: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Jake: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Matt: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.