Don't be nervous, boy!!

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon.

Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son: 

"Don’t be nervous, boy, just do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."

Brother Sister Pulling Hairs

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.

"Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts."

A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.

This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…

"Now she knows."

😂😂😂😂

Boy goes to strip club?

A boy goes to a strip club. He comes home looking upset. His mom gets angry and starts lecturing him.

Mom: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?

boy: Yes, I saw dad! 

😂😂😂😂

Grandma’s hairs are white

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.

She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

😂😂😂😂😂

Fishing with Daddy

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.

"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." 

"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." 

"But that's just what I did, mommy."

😂😂😂😂

What MOM stands for?

Son: Mom can I get twenty bucks?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Son: Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?