Box of Tampons

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy,

'Son, how old are you?'

'Eight,' the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know how these are used?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one.'

Mom, look at my drawing

"Mom! look at my drawing."

"Wow! what a great dinosaur you made!"

"Mom, don't be ridiculous! That's you!

😂😂😂😂

Big People Words

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words."

She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 

No More Kids

My wife and I decided that we don't want to have children anymore.

So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

😂😂😂😂😂

Learning to write

Mother: What did you learn in school today?

Son: How to write.

Mother: That's great! What did you write?

Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

Why Parents have Gray hair?

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child whispering,

"Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.

"Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.

"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

Growing very concerned especially as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"Honey, what is going on at your house?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed, whispering voice the child answered, "Some men in a hello-copper just landed and are looking around."

Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they looking for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me"