Box of Tampons

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy,

'Son, how old are you?'

'Eight,' the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know how these are used?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one.'

Mom, look at my drawing

"Mom! look at my drawing."

"Wow! what a great dinosaur you made!"

"Mom, don't be ridiculous! That's you!

😂😂😂😂

Big People Words

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words."

She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 

No More Kids

My wife and I decided that we don't want to have children anymore.

So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

😂😂😂😂😂

He isn’t our frankie

Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife,

"He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?"

"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie."

😂😂😂😂

Now we run

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. 

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" 

To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

Mind your own business

A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.

The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." 

 The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". 

 The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?"

"No" says the boy, "he minded his own business."