Mom, look at my drawing

"Mom! look at my drawing."

"Wow! what a great dinosaur you made!"

"Mom, don't be ridiculous! That's you!

😂😂😂😂

Don't be nervous, boy!!

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon.

Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son: 

"Don’t be nervous, boy, just do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."

Learning to write

Mother: What did you learn in school today?

Son: How to write.

Mother: That's great! What did you write?

Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

I know your secret

Two boys were talking and one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want."

The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied,

"Tell people you know their secret.", the other boy said.

The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!".

The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10."

The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"

The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."

The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"

The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"

🤣🤣😂😂😂

Lie Detector Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some homework."

The robot slaps the son. 😂😂

The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story." 

The robot slaps the son. 😂😂

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn." 

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was."

The robot slaps the father. 😂😂

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." 

The robot slaps the mother. 

Robot for sale.

🤣🤣😂😂

Boy goes to strip club?

A boy goes to a strip club. He comes home looking upset. His mom gets angry and starts lecturing him.

Mom: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?

boy: Yes, I saw dad! 

😂😂😂😂

Grandma’s hairs are white

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.

She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

😂😂😂😂😂