Genie and the lady joke

A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp.
She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.
The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes:
– ” I want my husband to have eyes only for me
– I want to be the only one in his life
– I want him to sleep always by my side
– I want that when he gets up in the morning I’m the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes.”

The Genie turned THE LADY into a

Iphone 6  

A Blonde flying to California from New York Joke.

 Blonde was flying to California from New York. She was allotted a middle seat but decided to take the window seat instead, which had been allotted to an old lady.

The lady requested Blonde  to exchange the seats and let her sit on the seat allotted to her. Blonde refused, saying, ‘I want to see the view from the window.’ The old lady complained to the air hostess who requested Blonde to sit on his allotted middle seat. Blonde was adamant and bluntly refused.

The air hostess went up to the co-pilot. He too came and requested Blonde, but in vain.

Finally, the captain of the aircraft came. He whispered something in Blonde’s ears. Blonde immediately vacated the window seat and took the middle seat.

Astonished, the air hostess and the co-pilot asked the captain what he had said. The captain replied: ‘Nothing, I just told her that only the middle seats will go to California. All others were going to Washington.

:) :)

Laugh hard. This is the moment to laugh and lighten. We never know what is their in next moment. :) :)

Girls, Is it so..?

Astronaut went to moon and took 5 photographs
Girl went to bathroom and took 37 photographs.
LOL. :) :)

Husband versus Wife Joke

Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 – 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !

(You are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now!divorced; and living happily with their dog) 

Don’t laugh loud —- 

The extended version says…

Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 – 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before 

Joke on Couple’s Quarrel

Once a couple had one of their usual quarrels, as a consequence of which, they stopped talking to each other. Unfortunately the husband was to attend his office very early the next morning. So he wrote on a piece of paper, ‘Please wake me up at 6a.m. tomorrow morning,’ and kept it beside his wife’s pillow.

His wife read it and went to sleep.

He woke up very late the next morning and got very angry. He looked ferociously at his wife, but she calmly pointed towards his pillow. “Under his pillow he found a piece of paper. On it was written, ‘Please wake up, t is 6o’clock now.’

Poultry Breeder & Eggs Joke

The broilers and eggs of a poultry breeder were the best in the market. A man complimented him and asked: ‘ What do you feed your birds to get such excellent products?’

‘ The very best food: almonds, pistachios and pure ghee missed in the children feed’ answered the proud breeder.

‘How interesting!’ replied the other. ‘I am from the income tax department. I’d like to know where you got all the money to buy such as expensive diet.’

Thereafter the breeder was on guard. When the next visitor complimented him on his produced and asked, ‘ What do you give your birds to eat?’

He replied ‘ Nothing, nothing at all. I starve them.’

‘That calls for action’ replied the visitor.’ ‘I am from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. I charge you with the offence of starving chickens.’

When a third visitor came and made similar inquires, the breeder was more cautious in his reply. ‘ I give them fifty paisa each everyday and let them buy what they like to eat’ he said.

HaHaHa. :) :)

Kuwaiti Women & Husband Joke.

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she had noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait a few years later and observed the men now walking several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation. ‘ This is marvelous,’ said the journalist. ‘What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?’

Replied the Kuwaiti woman, ‘ Landmines.’

:) :)

Daily Walk Joke.

If a beautiful woman goes for a walk daily…
she can improve the health of ten other men.