Box of Tampons

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy,

'Son, how old are you?'

'Eight,' the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know how these are used?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one.'

Plane filled with Lunatics

A plane mostly filled with lunatics has been flying for several hours. Suddenly a missile hits him. The floor gives way and leaves. All the passengers try as best they can to hold on to the luggage racks and anything that hangs from the ceiling with their bare hands. Below, the void! But, miraculously, the plane continues to fly without a floor. 

The pilot launches a call: "We are too heavy, one of the passengers must sacrifice himself and let go!"

A brave passenger proclaims: "Very well, since it is necessary, I sacrifice myself!"

At these words, all the madmen started to applaud!

👏👏👏👏

It could be due to Alcohol

Doctor to the patient:

"I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol."

Patient:

"That’s OK. I will come back when you are sober."

🤣🤣😂😂

Unique Hospital

The queen of England was visiting one of America's top hospitals, and during her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

'Oh my god!', said the Queen, 'That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???'

The doctor leading the tour explains, 'I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't ejaculate five times a day, his testicles would quite literally explode and he would most likely die instantly.'

'Oh, I am sorry' said the Queen.

The tour continued on the next floor of the hospital. After walking past several rooms, they passed an open door where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

'Oh my God!' said the Queen, 'What's happening in there?'

The Doctor replied, 'Same problem, better health plan.'

I have a pain in my eye

"Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."

"Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

Who should brew the coffee

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...

"HEBREWS."

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 

Can i have a dog for Christmas

- Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas? 

- No, you can have turkey like everyone else!

😂😂😂😂