Doctors must have an acute sense of observation!!

 A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies and decides to give them a few basics before starting.

"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear."

At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, and then licks it.

He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them.

After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit.

"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation...

I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index."

Why Parents have Gray hair?

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child whispering,

"Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.

"Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.

"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

Growing very concerned especially as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"Honey, what is going on at your house?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed, whispering voice the child answered, "Some men in a hello-copper just landed and are looking around."

Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they looking for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me"

Why should you never date a tennis player?

Why should you never date a tennis player?

Because 'Love' means nothing to them.

CHALLANED!

 Santa was caught for speeding and was produced before the magistrate.

Magistrate: ‘What’ll you take? 30 days or Rs 3,000?’

Santa: ‘I think I’ll take the money.’

Santa feeling like a legislative body

 Santa: I’m feeling like a legislative body - Vidhan or Lok Sabha

Banta: What do you mean?

Santa: My stomach is upset.

Banta: What does your stomach have to do with Legislative Assemblies or Parliament?

Santa: I’m passing motion after motion.

Santa went to Chandigarh!!

 Santa was flying to Chandigarh from Pune. He was allotted a middle seat but decided to take the window seat instead, which had been allotted to an old lady. The lady requested Santa to exchange the seats and let her sit on the seat allotted to her. He refused, saying, ‘I want to see the view from the window.’

The old lady complained to the air hostess who requested Santa to sit on his allotted middle seat. Santa was adamant and bluntly refused. The air hostess went up to the co-pilot. He too came and requested Santa, but in vain. Finally, the captain of the aircraft came. He whispered something in Santa’s ears. Santa immediately vacated the window seat and took the middle seat.

Astonished, the air hostess and the co-pilot asked the captain what he had said to Santa. The captain replied: ‘Nothing, I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others were going to Jalandhar.’

How to kill a lion?

 How can Santa kill a lion?

Santa thinks and thinks hard and comes to a conclusion: I’ll drink poison and let the lion eat me. O bolo ta ra ra